I have to say, though, that a famishing 350-calorie lunch is not a realistic move for most guys either. This is simply the daily course of a Tuesday lunch.Įating a 2K-calorie burrito is obviously a poor decision. No one looked at me funny when I asked for more sour cream, or made them swap my small drink for a large. There are fifteen guys in here eating the same thing. My 2,000-calorie lunch is, by many accounts, a kinda standard order. Food-style pictures you get when you eat a three-pound burger or a cake made of chili fries or whatever. It's not like Chipotle covers its walls in the Man v. Because here's the screwy part of this: This didn't feel like a feat or some physical challenge. I'm sitting triumphantly, plastic fork aloft, yet I feel oddly empty, probably because everybody's looking at me and my fork. 12:30 p.m.: There's a big blank space where my meal used to be: I have slain the burrito, the bag of chips, the guac mini-tub, and the enormous Coke.12:28 p.m.: You know what the worst part is? Finishing the drink, ladling another half-bucketful of Coke onto an already-full space.There will only be sedentary digestion on the floor. I also realize both that I need to go running tonight and that there's no way I'm going running tonight. 12:20 p.m.: There's more sweating than I might have expected.12:12 p.m.: I'm pretty sure that was just a solid forkful of sour cream.12:09 p.m.: Four minutes in, I realize I have no idea what the hell carnitas are.One thing becomes immediately clear: Finishing this will probably require some additional people. 12:05 p.m.: The burrito arrives, packed in such a manner that rice is exploding out of the side of it, like that picture of the anaconda that consumed an alligator.Throw in chips and guac and a chum bucket of Coke big enough to have a story written on it and you can get to 2,000 with frightening ease. The carnitas burrito with black beans runs about a totally manageable 630 calories, but you add the green-tomatillo salsa, rice, black beans, lettuce, cheese, and sour cream (and, in my case, extra sour cream), and before long you're in business. 12:01 p.m.: Couple things about that: The burrito is actually not that bad for you.Chipotle's calculator has the burrito at 1070 and the chips and guac at 800. 12 p.m.: To find Chipotle's most calorific offering, because I'm such a big believer in Journalism, I go with the Times's recommendation, and by "recommendation" I'm pretty sure I mean "warning." The Times's viral video/story "What 2,000 Calories Looks Like" suggested a carnitas burrito (945 calories), chips and guacamole (770), and a Coke (276).9 a.m.: This is a big day, so to prepare, I have very little breakfast and don't drink water for a few hours before.I'm driving home happy and satiated! And for just 350 calories, which is usually what I find in just my toppings! SORRY, CHICK-FIL-A, I WON'T BE NEEDING ANY OF YOUR RELIGIOUS NUGGETS AFTER ALL. 12:25 p.m.: Short version: That worked.12:23 p.m.: What the hell? I'm getting full! I'm even winding down a little! Which is too bad, as I'd just started reading a new Jonathan Safran Foer cup, but whatever.12 p.m.: Strolling into a Chipotle with the intent to go low-cal feels obscene, like, what the hell am I even doing here? If low-cal were my goal, wouldn't I be cutting up fresh tomatoes from my dad's garden? It seems like a long drive for a pre-emptively minimalist dining experience.So we set out to compare the experience of eating Chipotle's lowest-cal offering (as determined by Important Internet Research) with that of its highest-not for a quantitative measurement, mind you, but to see what it felt like emotionally. Calorie-intake guidelines vary wildly by person, but in a lot of cases one lousy lunch can contain more than half of what most humans should ingest in a day. In fact, back in February, The New York Times scared the guac out of the Internet by finding that a "typical" Chipotle order (say, a meat burrito with beans, cheese, and sour cream) contains about 1,070 calories. The messages are a little muddled, is what we're saying. They also serve burritos the approximate size and density of a regulation football and offer some meals that contain a full day's worth of sodium and about enough calories to nourish a horse. They offer sweet interactive calorie-counting graphics, claim to use only non-GMO ingredients, and definitely use only hippie fonts. When it comes to eating healthy, Chipotle is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside a flour tortilla and pretty much drowning in sour cream.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |